NAIBSEL A M'I

Truth.

Tue, 14 May 2013 00:14:39 -0400

The truth will set you free.

I love her, more than anything and I won’t lie, we’ve had our good times, but over the course of our relationship, it started to dwindle. Small things.

Cut me off from my friends, my family, ex’s that I was cool with.

Wanted to control my finances.

My school suffered.

She got drunk about a month ago and told me I should go cut myself. (I use to battle self harm for 7 years) Stupid of me but I forgave her and moved on.

Three weeks ago she was drunk again and told me to get the fuck out of her life and shoved me into the bed. She doesn’t remember this. Nor does she remember the last.

She apologized again. Kissed my tears and we “made up”.

Last Saturday we were at a concert, she again got drunk and flirted with girls in front of me. I brushed it off like I always do. Than she persisted to fight and argue. I was explaining my feelings and she told me that she didn’t want to fight, just “fuck me”.

Do you really love me? Or is it lust.

We were driving to a friends house after the concert and she yelled and screamed at me telling me I have nothing to cry about and that I’m exactly like all the rest of her relationships.

I bite my tongue.

We get to the house and long story short all of us including our friends get drunk and we all kind of fool around, not sex but other stuff. She basically “wakes up” from her drunkness, gets to her car and leaves me at the house. An hour away from our house.

I cry.

I call a friend to take me back home. They do.

I get home. Open the door. Go to the room and wake her up. She goes to the recliner in the living room and I tell her why would she leave me stranded if she loved me, I asked her why she compares me to her ex’s when I have done so much for her. I cook for her, clean for her, am faithful to her, love her, show her I love her. I never forget an anniversary or anything. I’m SO good to this girl.

She jumps up, grabs me by the throat and jolts forward, with me walking backwards, our roommate sees what happens and jumps in front of me to take my gfs hand off my throat.

I break down. Did that just happen? The girl that I love, did she just do that?

She leaves. I run after her, crawling on my knees begging her to stay.

And now, at this moment, she’s telling me I basically had it coming. That because of the night before, because a guy fingered her, I had it coming because I made her angry.

I’ve tried. And yet, I still continue trying. I want her more than anything. But why do I feel so scared and alone?

:-(..

Mon, 13 May 2013 02:10:28 -0400

:-(..

jemappelleannabelle: lacigreen: chazzthejazz: Well, this...

Fri, 03 May 2013 23:38:21 -0400

jemappelleannabelle:

lacigreen:

chazzthejazz:

Well, this looks vaguely familiar…

I used to feel this way. 2 years out of school, and I finally realized that the only two that matter are the ones on the left.

“Things that I want to do with my life” - the single most important factor. If you want it, you’re more likely to feel satisfied and happy.

“Things that I’m good at” - let this guide you through the things that interest you. If you can find a way to channel what you’re good at with things that make you happy, you are more likely to find success.

“Things that my parents want me to do” - Picking what you want to do with an enormous chunk of your time should be made by you - not parents or ANYONE ELSE.

“Things that are considered realistic occupations” - There is no such thing as a “realistic” occupation. Don’t settle for something boring to you because it seems easy or traditional or *what you’re supposed to do*. Occupations are actually less rigid than they sometimes seem.

^^^ In which Laci Green is forever making me feel better about life.

RIP

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 02:45:07 -0400

Why do I let this bother be so much? I didn’t even know them. I don’t even know her. But somehow when I found out about the car accident, I knew it wasn’t going to be good. My heart still sinks and this happened last Tuesday morning. Maybe reading her old tweets bothers me a little too much. Or maybe it’s seeing all of the people she left behind and how they are struggling too. I’m not sure. Death is hard. Especially when they are young. Which she was. 15. Barely beginning her life. Doesn’t make sense. All in all, this little girl is having a big impact on me..and she will never truly know. RIP babygirl, you’re in a good place now, and for what it’s worth, thank you Shea 💜 .

You’re beautiful. Never think differently.

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 01:30:04 -0400

You’re beautiful. Never think differently.

Oh yah know…just my girlfriend on the left. :-) love her...

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 00:26:40 -0400

Oh yah know…just my girlfriend on the left. :-) love her so much ..

What if I don’t know how..?

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 22:34:27 -0400

What if I don’t know how..?

baby your pretty id like to your more personally :)

Sun, 05 Aug 2012 16:03:01 -0400

Well then come off anon and we can talk :)

I want you.

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 21:55:00 -0400

I want you.

you're so gorgeous, pretty, beautiful, and i love your blog :)

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 21:54:41 -0400

Awh thank you! you should have come off anon and we’ll chat it up :) That’s so sweet of you!

Love.

Mon, 02 Jul 2012 23:39:28 -0400

Love.

true!

Tue, 26 Jun 2012 22:36:16 -0400

true!

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Sun, 03 Jun 2012 13:57:20 -0400

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Sun, 03 Jun 2012 13:45:57 -0400

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Wed, 23 May 2012 17:23:42 -0400

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Mon, 21 May 2012 23:03:37 -0400

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Mon, 21 May 2012 21:56:00 -0400

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Mon, 21 May 2012 21:27:05 -0400

i loveeee your anchor tat. i was thinking of getting something there. does it hurt? also i heard it fade, has your's?

Sun, 20 May 2012 22:44:06 -0400

Thanks love! :) it did not hurt one bit! and it hasn’t, of course I keep mine covered up a lot from shoes and such, but it hasn’t faded at all! Hope you get it! You’ll love it!

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Mon, 07 May 2012 12:00:05 -0400